My Fondest Memory

My Dearest Sally

Born: February 3, 1947

Died: September 19, 2008

Wonderful wife, mother, friend..

Last November, on our 42nd wedding anniversary, Sally gave me a letter she wrote to her parents in September 1966, as she was flying over the Atlantic Ocean to make her home with me in Germany. This was a big trip for their daughter who was just 19 years old, and they were quite concerned as they waved goodbye to her at JFK Airport in New York.. Her letter was very reassuring to her parents as she spoke of her new home with me.. "Don't worry Mom & Dad. I'm now where my heart has been for the past three months. With Love, Sally" As I watched Sally depart this life for her long eternal home these words seemed to be directed toward me, and were clearly in her heart again. Dick

Sally's Obituary - http://obits.pennlive.com/PennLive/DeathNotices.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=117706893

Our Final Trip to Johns Hopkins Hospital

Today we went to Johns Hopkins Hospital for an evaluation of Sally's cancer. In the morning we had blood work, and CT scans of Sallys chest, abdomen and pelvis. After completing these tests we, (Sally, I and our 4 children), went to visit Charles and Mamie Graves. ( Mamie had open heart surgery last week, and is in the hospital rehab.) Our visit was an inspiration to all of us as Sally and Mamie shared their common experiences together and the encouragement each has been to the other.

At 1:30 we met with Dr Rudin to go over the test results. Dr Rudin began by telling us that the cancer was spreading and that further treatment was not possible. Sally replied "Good, I want to go HOME!" As the doctor and I tried to discuss continuing medication to assist Sally in terms of quality of life, she repeated, " I want to go HOME!" Finally when she saw that she wasn't being heard, she said to the doctor, "Doctor, when God says that he wants me to come HOME, I don't believe that he would be happy if I replied that I want to spend my time in some hospital." I said, "I want to go HOME! That is my choice.. Some of my children may not feel as I do, and they may feel free to make their wishes known, but THAT IS MY CHOICE." After a moment of silence, each of our children said that they agreed with Sally's choice. With that said, we began our journey back to our home to spend our final days awaiting Sally's call HOME.

Sally rested peacefully as we drove home. She went to bed for about an hour then asked me if she could get up. As I peeled an orange, we visited together. At one point in our conversation, she asked me, " Are you ready to help me get out of here?" I replied, " I don't understand?" She said, "Yes, you do know what I mean. I have been asking you this question for a few weeks now, and you haven't answered me." I assured her that I was ready and prepared to help her complete the final steps of her journey.

Sally and I have been singing together Hymn 105, which says "Life's short day will soon be over, Then we'll see the one we love - Fellowship divine forever, In the Father's home above." Today we witnessed that these were more than just words to Sally.

Mother's Day Weekend..

Even though we could not have our traditional meal altogether this Mother's Day, the weekend was packed with visits.. Dan, Kate and Zolani visited Saturday.. When they arrived, I awoke Sally and announced their arrival.. She replied " I can't beleive that they finally made it!!! ( they have had sickness which prevented them from coming over the past few weeks.) Sally was up and down most of the day. Twice when she went to bed in the afternoon, Dan,Kate and Zolani prepared to leave, but before the got into their car, Sally was beckoning to get up..







Sunday's activities were even more amazing with Susie coming to stay with Sally while I went to meeting.. Susie and I prepared dinner ( she explains these activities in detail in their blog) which we thoroughly enjoyed, not because of the food, but because of Sally's new-found zest for eating!! As dinner was finishing it occurred to me that today was Mother's Day for both my wife and my daughter who were able to spend it together.


The remainder of Susie's family and Ron, Kalyn, Robert and Ian joined us for dessert.. As you might imagine the Chocolate Ice Cream from Massey's was a tremendous hit.. After dessert the kids hit the rope swing for a little fun and exercise.




The day was very enjoyable, as Sally remained awake and participated with everyone throughout the afternoon and early evening.

Sally's Second Chemo Treatment

Since my last communication, little has changed regarding Sally's condition. She continues to sleep 18+ hours each day. Generally speaking, she seems a bit weaker each day.

Yesterday, we returned to Johns Hopkins for Sally's second chemo treatment. Ron took us, as I felt that the trip was too much for me to attempt alone with Sally.

I asked Dr Rudin, Sally's oncologist, if he would see Sally while we were there to give us (me) some guidance as to developments which I observed over the past 4 weeks since the completion of brain radiation. He agreed, and arrived shortly after our 1PM treatment began. He spent about an hour and a half with us. Over the course of the visit, it became apparent that many of the adverse developments were the down-side effects of the steroid that Sally has been taking. Dr Rudin prescribed a tapering of the steroid. He also called in a staff psychologist who met with Sally to determine more clearly her current mental state. The psychologist verified things which we have been observing, and indicated these are also associated with the steroid. She prescribed medication for releiving the symptoms, and indicated that most should clear up with the reduction of the steroid. It was a tremendously long day, and Sally was exhausted by the time we returned home.

Our weeks have been filled with visits from the friends and workers. Many helped us so that we could have the workers visit us at our home during this time. Our Special Meetings concluded on Sunday April 23rd. Although neither Sally nor I could attend, we listened to the meetings over the phone..

We continue to be thankful for each day, thankful for the peace and trust we have in our Heavenly Father, and thankful for each of you that remember us in various ways.

Sally's Post-Radiation Recovery

In response to many email inquiries, I have a bit of an update on Sally's condition since radiation has been completed. Our doctor has advised us that the recovery period for full brain radiation is 4 to 6 weeks.. After completing 2 weeks, the radiation nurse informed me that Sally is probably beyond the worst of the recovery period.. Never-the-less, Sally has required 24 hour care since returning home.. I need to help her get up, but then she is able to get around with the aid of a walker.. She has a good appetite, and sleeps well.
On April 11th, Sally had her first chemo treatment. She receives a treatment every 21 days for as long as these treatments are effective. It is a very minimal treatment lasting less than 10 minutes.. The most significant side-effect is extreme fatigue.. Since Sunday she has been sleeping 16 - 18 hours daily, getting up for 2 hours at each meal period.
On May 22nd, Sally has a return visit to Johns Hopkins for another evaluation of the effectiveness of these treatments. We will know better at this time just how well she is doing..
Again, we thank you all for your continued interest and kindness during this time...

Sally's Radiation is Completed!!

Sally completed her final radiation treatment this morning at 9:30AM...

Please click below to join the celebration....

Return to our "Country Home"

Treatment was over early on Friday... We were home by 3PM and doing our usual - putting away groceries, doing laundry and becoming adjusted again to "country life!"

Sally has been doing well with the brain radiation treatments.. She has two more next week and then she will be finished with radiation... So far the side-effects have been minimal.. She continues to gain strength in her legs, although she has been having some trouble getting up from a low chair.. Hopefully, more strenthening of her leg muscles will remedy this problem..

We want to thank everyone again for your interest and expressions of encouragement over the past month.. Unless something new arises, we will give an update of Sally's progress again next weekend..

Quick Update

Yesterday, Sally met with her Radiation Physician, Dr Halles.. He indicated that the demise of the pain in her hip is what was anticipated from the radiation therapy... As to her current treatment, she is experiencing some yeast infection in her mouth, which is normal, and Dr Halles is treating..

Today when we came for our treatment, we learned that Dr Rudin will see Sally again before we complete these treatments next Tuesday...

Yesterday after treatment Dan, Kate and Zolani came with prepared meals for us... We had a delicious spinach lasagna for dinner last evening before they returned home..

Tomorrow, we look forward to having Stephanie Jayne and Stephen Jayne for a visit in the afternoon..

It looks like I'm not keeping my schedule, so we'll try and give an update in a few days..

What happened to our Resting Weekend?

Just a little postscript to our "restful weekend"...

After Dan, Kate and Zolani left at noon on Saturday, Roberta Stipp and Donna Stoneberger came for a visit, followed by Allen, Nona and Jeff. We had a good visit with all during the afternoon.. After a bite for supper, Brian Hoffman called to see how we were doing.. When I told Brian that Sally would be delighted if he and Crissy came by for a visit, he promptly hung up the phone and they came over.. We had a great evening together... (Brian has been our neighbor, and one of our "family" since his teen years with Ron, Tim and Dan.) Crissy brought peanut better eggs and home canned red beets that Brian's mom, Linda canned... We love red beets!!!

Sunday morning meeting was special for us again today.. We were glad to be able to gather with our little meeting, and be fed again from God's Word.. We were privileged to have Judy, Audrey, Peggy and Julie with us also...

Soon after our lunch was over, visitors came again.. Sally's Aunt Ida and niece Debbie spent most of the afternoon with us. In the evening Ron's family came, followed by Sally's brother Gard and wife Arlene, and her nephew Doug and his family.

We are glad for the company, and - - the good news is that Sally has no pain in her hip, and is completely off the pain medicine!!!!

Off to Baltimore in the morning... More on Wednesday...

Home Again for the Weekend

Three treatments for Sally this week went very smoothly... Through the week Sally also began to notice a significant reduction in the amount of pain in her hip..

On Wednesday evening we visited with Charles and Mamie Graves at their home in Baltimore. We marvel at how much we enjoy their company, and fellowship, after knowing them for less than a month!

After treatment on Friday, we came home - - - stopping at Massey's, (our favorite ice cream store in Carlisle,) on the way home... (I need to tell you that all this talk about ice cream may be a bit much for Sally.. She ordered her favorite treat at Massey's, but only ate a few bites... ) Dan , Kate and Zolani prepared supper for us Friday evening. They brought us ice cream , but Sally turned down a bowl for dessert!!!

This weekend we plan to rest as much as possible, and hope to reduce Sally's dependency on pain medicine. If possible, we hope to eliminate the pain medicine entirely. Alma made Sally a "rice bag" which provides soothing heat over an extended period of time. Hopefully, by staying off her feet, and using the heat we will be able to make a smooth transition to no medicine..

We return to Baltimore on Monday morning to resume treatment. We'll update you again on Sally's progress on Wednesday..

Day 1 - In Baltimore Again

Today is the first of 10 radiation treatments for Sally's brain.. Our treatment schedule changed from 3PM to 11:45AM, so we were not able to get to Wednesday Bible Study with these folks here in Baltimore.. Sally and I studied their study (John 8), this morning before we left for treatment.. It was encouraging to us to see that some of the same things that Our Father said to King David in our home study in II Samuel 7, continued to be the same things that he said through His Son in John 8.. We were glad for the message which never changes..

Sally approached treatment today with some anxiety... This is a big step, with the potential that some telling signs will exist with this treatment... Never-the-less, today went very smoothly... Actually, we received an encouraging phone call just before treatment began - - - The call was from Heather Bledsoe who had surgery here about 1 month ago.. She was back for a follow-up appointment in the Outpatient Center.. We had the opportunity of a little visit with Heather before she went for her appointment.... Great to see her coming along so well..

Two more treatments this week, then we plan to return home for the weekend.. My next update will probably be Saturday morning..

End of Week # 3 - We're Home...

It seems as though events on Wednesday and Thursday all ran together with the pace quickening, and the decisions ever more difficult...

We started at 7AM Wednesday with an MRI of Sally's brain to get a clearer picture of the cancer involvement there. At 11AM we had our consultation with Dr Weber, the orthopaedic oncologist. Ron and Sue joined us for this consultation. We gathered around the Doctor's computer screen to have a look at Sally's hip bone ( The big bone which includes your pelvis), to observed the location of the cancer, and receive the analysis from Dr Weber, as to the cause of Sally's pain. The cancer is in the bone directly above the hip/leg joint. Whenever Sally sits, or walks, pressure is put on this weakened area creating the pain. Dr Weber prescribed a walker and cane to assist Sally when she walks, and instructed her to limit the amount of weight she places on the leg. Dr Weber indicated that it will require 4 - 6 weeks for the bone to recover. Following that appointment we went to the rehab center where Sally was fitted with the walker and cane, and given a brief session on appropriate use of the equipment.

Next, we hurried to our 2PM consultation with the Radiology Doctor to review the results of the brain MRI and hear about recommended therapies. Sally's brother Allen, and sister Flo, joined Ron, Sue, Sally and me for this consultation. Dr Hales, a Resident Radiologist, who has been with us through the previous radiation treatments went over the findings and recommended treatments. As we gathered around the doctor's screen this time, we were greatly saddened at what appeared before us. Numerous clusters of cancer cells forming tumors in various locations of Sally's brain appeared on the screen. Dr Hales explained that each tumor represented millions of cells, and that there was probably an equally large number of cancer cells floating around in her brain that just hadn't clumped together yet into tumors. The recommendation to do a full brain radiation required a decision from Sally and I that we did not feel prepared to make. Although Dr Hales indicated that the results would be positive, he acknowledged, that only Sally's Medical Oncologist, Dr Rudin, could tell her how this fit with her wishes in the overall treatment of her lung cancer. Our meeting ended without any resolution for treatment, and Sally proceeded on to the 4Th radiation treatment of her vertebrae.

I'll just add a small note here regarding Sally's instructions to Dr Rudin relative to the boundaries of acceptable treatment. Sally has told Dr Rudin that she is willing for treatment that will help her maintain her quality of life, but does not want any treatment that simply prolongs life. When Dr Rudin called on Monday to inform us of the findings in Sally's brain, she again discussed these wishes with him. He assured her that he would not recommend anything that violated her wishes.

As we were preparing to leave after Sally's radiation treatment, my cell phone rang, and it was Dr Rudin calling. He asked where we were, and if he could join us for a bit. Of course, we welcomed his offer, and soon found ourselves in a private room with him.. Dr Rudin and Sally sat quietly talking together as the rest of us stood by listening in on their conversation. Dr Rudin quietly explaining that this treatment, although a bit severe, was in line with her wishes, and was intended to reduce the possibilities of the cancer spreading in the brain, causing more serious neurological disorders. Sally questioning whether the treatment was just for the purpose of extending life, and Dr Rudin answering that if Sally had the brain treatment, that he still would pursue the medical treatment he initially described to support her quality of life. He indicated that he felt that there was a good possibility that she would respond well to the new medical treatment as she did to the Tarceva treatment. Our meeting ended with Dr Rudin encouraging Sally to take the treatment, saying that she could choose anywhere along the way to end the therapy, and that he would provide the necessary hospice treatment to accompany her wishes. Sally tentatively agreed to consider the treatment, but indicated that she and I would need time to make the final decision.

It is hard for me to describe how intensely sad this moment was for us.. It was obvious that it was equally sad for Dr Rudin as he and Sally talked quietly together. At one point Sally lightened the moment by exclaiming to Dr. Rudin, " I don't now how you do this from day to day!!!"

Sue brought our supper for Wednesday evening. She and Ron prepared the meal for all 6 of us.. Soon everybody was on their way home, and Sally was exhausted. Before going to bed we both spoke again of the treatment, agreeing that we should proceed. We left the final decision until morning, so that each of us could settle the matter for ourselves.

Thursday morning Sally initiated our discussion again regarding the treatment. She spoke of proceeding, and I agreed. In the afternoon we met again with Dr Hales to indicate our acceptance of the treatment. Dan and Kate joined us for this meeting. At that meeting, Dan asked if the Tarceva effectively treated this problem in Sally's brain. Dr Hales said that he couldn't answer, but that no traditional medical cancer treatment (chemotherapy) has any affect within the brain. Our bodies have a firewall in the blood supply to the brain which prevents the treatment from entering the brain. As a result, radiation is the only therapy for cancer in the brain. After our consultation, Sally was taken into the prep-room to complete the preparatory steps for her treatment. Dr Hales recommended a few days break, so scheduled this treatment to begin Tuesday March 18Th.

Sally completed her fifth and last radiation treatment for the vertebrae, and got to "ring the bell" outside of the treatment room - indicating the completion of treatment for the cancer in her bones.

Dan and Kate were preparing supper, but as Sally and I left the hospital, I told Sally that we had one more difficult decision for today. Did she think we could go home this evening?

After supper with Dan and Kate, we packed and headed home - - arriving at 9PM.. A little extra pain medication made the trip pleasant for Sally..

We'll pick up with more news next Wednesday. For now, Sally and I wish to thank you all for your kind thoughts and support.

Tuesday - Into week 3..

On Monday,before we returned to Baltimore, we learned that there are tumors in Sally's brain.. Her oncologist, Dr Rudin prescribed medication to releive the swelling that was occurring. Dr Rudin indicated this swelling was causing Sally's discomfort, fatigue, and sleepiness. The medication has made a dramatic positive change for her.

Today we have the 3rd treatment for her vertabrae, then expect Tim for supper at our apartment...

Beginning tomorrow morning we proceed to evaluate the situation in Sally's brain and learn of the treatment that her doctor recommends.

Although this is sad news for us, today has been a very good day... After 18 hours of the medication, Sally awoke this morning refreshed, and relatively free from the pain that she has experienced for the past few weeks...

Friday March 7th - Last Day?

Yesterday was very very full, as we met with both Sally's Lung Oncologist, and her Radiation Dr, completed tests, and had her 9th radiation treatment.. In summary, the day was very intense, and we were exhausted. Here is a quick summary of the day..

Dr Rudin, (lung oncologist), indicated that he found another tumor on Sally's 12th vertabrae, and asked Sally if she would be willing to have it treated before completing this series of radiation treatments. After consultation with Dr Kleinberg (radiation) we are scheduled for 5 treatments of the vertabrae, which begin today through next Thursday.

Dr Rudin outlined the choices for the next level of drug treatment for Sally and also prescribed new drugs for pain management including some accupuncture treatment for pain management.

Ron, Sue and Dan joined us yesterday, making the day an easier one for both Sally and I.

After tests and Sally's treatment today, we will return home for the weekend..

Wednesday - Day 8

Yesterday our radiation doctor reviewed results of the previous day's tests. No fractures in Sally's bones, pain is coming from the area being treated with radiation. Her blood analysis is normal with minor elevation in one area which indicates that the radiation treatment is working. All of this good news hasn't relieved the pain for Sally, but our concentration on keeping her "off her feet" has eliminated some of the spikes that were difficult for her. (See Tim's note for things we just can't control!!)

Speaking of Tim's note, there is one thing that has made this time easier for both Sally and I, and that is the continual interest of the Friends, and our friends and relatives. It is not possible to describe fully what this has meant to us, but we do want to be thankful for what we enjoy in God's Family..

We enjoyed a brief visit with Jim Bolt yesterday as we all waited for our appointments, and of course appreciated the meal that Tim brought to our apartment last evening.

Today we anticipate having the routine treatment at 3PM, and returning to our apartment for a quiet evening. Thursday is a very busy day for us, but we'll try to send an update...

Tuesday's Agenda

Yesterday we met with Sally's radiation doctor who indicated that they continue to be concerned about possible bone fracture. She had a CT scan of the hip to get a clearer image of what is going on there. We will receive results today.

We are scheduled to meet with our Lung Cancer Oncologist on Thursday to discuss recent findings, and possible therapies for Sally to consider. Our children will join us for this appointment on Thursday.

We are looking forward to a routine treatment today at 3PM, and returning to our apartment for rest, however, we will get to visit with Jim Bolt who is scheduled for an appointment here at Johns Hopkins at 3PM today also..

Beginning Week #2

Doctor called late Friday and indicated that Sally should stay off her feet until her Monday afternoon appointment. Flo and Allen acompanied us to Sally's treatment Friday, then we visited over dinner before they returned home.

Saturday Susie and Matt came first to visit in our apartment, followed by Ron and Steph's family, then Dan, Kate and Zolani. All brought us food, took care of our laundry, and visited for the remainder of the day. Ron and Steph stayed over, and joined Sally and I for a refreshing Sunday morning meeting together. Dan and Kate returned from VA. to join us for dinner. All returned home Sunday afternoon. Charles and Mamie called Sunday evening to see how we were doing, and informed us that some PA folks - Thomas and Sally Annabel were at their Sunday meeting. We're sorry that we missed them..

Sally has been given an appointment with an Orthopedic Oncologist next Wednesday. Although it means a return trip for us, it will be worthwhile if it results in a lessoning of the pain in her leg..
Sally seems to be in good spirits, making the best of each day..

Friday - noon- This is Day 5

We were in the hospital until 7PM last evening awaiting results from an xray of Sally's leg and hip related to the pain she has been experiencing. Tim came at 7PM, and we spent the remainder of the evening with him..

Sally's radiation doctor called this morning, and indicated that they would be making an appointment for Sally at their Orthopedic Clinic in the JHH Bayview Hospital sometime this weekend. The orthopedic specialists will help find a solution to releive the pain.

Sally had a better night after a change in her pain medication... Now it seems to hurt only when she attempts to put her weight on the leg.. Of course, this makes her very uncomfortable, as there is a potential for bone breakage. We ride the shuttle to and from the Hospital, and use a wheelchair in the hospital which has been very convenient.

Sally's sister and brother ( Flo and Allen) are expected today.. Most of our children will visit tomorrow.
Thanks for your notes and messages.. They are very encouraging to us...

Activities thru Wednesday

We had a very nice visit with Charles and Mamie Graves Tuesday evening. On Wednesday morning, we picked up Charles who guided us to their noon Bible Study. ( Mamie wasn't feeling well.) Our Bible Study was John 5 which was very helpful to us... As you might imagine, a noon Bible Study is made up of retired folks from around Baltimore.. There was about a dozen of us who met together. Sally and I were amoung the youngest!!!

Sally's treatment Wednesday afternoon was routine, however she had a significant increase in pain as we walked the 2 blocks to our apartment. We spent most of the evening attempting to find a measure of relief from the pain.

This morning we called Sally's radiologist doctor regarding the pain, and are scheduled to see him when she goes in for her treatment at 3PM today. We anticipate new stronger medication for the pain..

The new developments have changed our daily activities a bit... We will begin taking a shuttle bus to the hospital and back home. Sally's sister and bother, Flo and Allen have postponed their planned visit for today. We hope to see our son Tim later this evening who is working in Washington, DC.

Here in Baltimore...

Sally and I are settled into our temporary quarters.... Small and basic, but nice and close to her treatment...

Yesterday, Sally had her first treatment at 3PM.. After the treatment and settling into our quarters, we went out for a bite to eat, and to buy some groceries... We arrived home at 7PM, and Sally promptly fell asleep.. She slept for 13 hours, resting well. When she awoke this morning, she indicated that the pain in her hip had subsided significantly..

We are at the Hospital Library, where we have internet access, and can get a line off to everyone.. After Sally's treatment today, we hope to visit the Graves, and make arrangements to go to Wednesday Bible Study with them tomorrow at noon..

Sally's Status

In January 2008, Sally returned to Johns Hopkins Hospital for a PET scan to determine where active cancer might be present in her body. This appointment was as a result of increasing pain in her rib and in her hip. The results of the scan revealed that the cancer tumor had increased in her hip, and that she should have radiation to reduce the tumor and relieve the pain.

On February 18Th, she had a consultation with the radiologist to better understand the purpose of the radiation treatment. Tim's family and Sue's family invited us to stay with them at the Marriott on Sunday evening, allowing us to be with their families before proceeding to the consultation on Monday. Tim and Sue accompanied us to the consultation.

Monday afternoon, Sally was scheduled for a preliminary radiology session to map her body in preparation for treatment. Dan, Kate and Zaloni arrived to be with us as we waited for that appointment. After the appointment we met up with all of the families at Inner Harbor for dinner before proceeding home..

Sally and I stopped at Ron's home on the way home to let them know of the day's activities. We arrived late, but their children stayed up to greet us as we arrived.. We were tired as we arrived home, but we could say that we had a wonderful day, with encouragement from our 4 children and their spouses, and the privilege to be with all of our 11 grand-children during this difficult time.

Sally is scheduled to begin 10 days of radiation therapy on Monday February 25Th at Johns Hopkins. We plan to live in a Johns Hopkins University townhouse which is located two blocks from the hospital for the duration of her treatment. We hope to keep you posted as to how we are doing during this stay..